The main weakness in this sentence from a cover letter is that it casts doubt on the applicant's suitability or interest for the role. Saying "I suppose I could work in high tech too" suggests:
- The applicant has little relevant experience for the role, since they admit they have only worked in retail so far.
- The applicant is not very motivated or interested in the high tech industry, since they only "suppose" they could work in it.
- The applicant lacks confidence that they could succeed in a high tech role, since they hedge their statement with "I suppose."
Strong cover letters demonstrate the applicant's interest, relevant experience and qualifications, and confidence for the specific role. This sentence shows a lack of these things, which would likely not make a strong first impression on the reader.
Some potential improvements to the sentence could be:
- While I have worked primarily in retail, I am excited about the opportunity to apply my skills and experience to a high tech role.
- Although my background is in retail, I have developed transferable skills that would make me a valuable contributor in a high tech company.
- My retail experience has given me skills that are directly applicable to succeeding in a high tech role, such as ...
Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions.
Here are some other things I can expand on regarding making improvements to cover letters:
Target your cover letter specifically: Don't write a generic cover letter. Tailor each cover letter to the specific job and company you are applying to. Mention the company name and role title. Explain why you are interested in that particular opportunity.
Highlight relevant skills and experience: Identify the key skills and qualifications they mention in the job posting. Explain how your experience, qualifications and talents show you have those skills. Give specific examples and achievements.
Connect your previous roles to the new one: Don't just list your job titles and responsibilities. Explain how the skills you gained in your previous roles directly relate to the role you are applying for. Show how your experience has prepared you for the next step.
Focus on the employer's needs: Don't just talk about yourself. Discuss how you can add value and solve problems for the company. Explain what qualities and strengths make you a great fit for that specific role.
Keep it concise and professional: Keep your cover letter to one page. Use a businesslike and polite tone. Avoid slang or casual language. Have someone review it for typos and clarity before sending.
Submit a customized resume: Ensure your resume highlights your relevant skills, experience and accomplishments. Customize it to the specific role and company, not just a generic resume.
I hope this additional context helps give you some other ideas and strategies for improving your cover letter! Let me know if you have any other questions.