Question

As a result of a volcanic eruption, Enkai and the cattle were thrown into the sky. Enkai wanted to save his cattle. He grew a tree that bridged the sky and the earth. The cattle walked down the tree to Neiterkob. Neiterkob and the Maasai tribe took over caring for the cattle.

Why does the summary need to be revised?

Answer 1

The summary lacks transitions that connect ideas.

Answer 2

This summary needs to be revise because it lacks transition words to connect the ideas.

Step-by-step explanation:

The summary we are analyzing here is about the story "The Beginnings of of the Maasai," which explains the origins of the Maasai culture and the people's relationship with Enkai, their god. The Maasai are a semi-nomadic indigenous group settled in Tanzania and Kenya.

The problem with the summary is that is lacks transition words. As their name suggests, transition words are used to transition from one idea or sentence to the next. Examples are: so, then, after that, because of that, in addition, etc. Let's revise the summary and add a few transition words to see how much better it sounds and how much more smoothly the ideas flow:

"As a result of a volcanic eruption, Enkai and the cattle were thrown inot the sky. Enkai wanted to save his cattle, so he grew a tree that bridged the sky and the earth. Thus, the cattle walked down the tree to Neiterkob. Then, Neiterkob and the Maasai tribe took over caring for the cattle."