asked 77.5k views
4 votes
Make the second only paragraph of my story more descriptive and scarier pls someone answer asap

As I stand in the elevator, the lights flicker and buzz ominously, casting eerie shadows that dance around the cramped space. A chill runs down my spine as I feel an inexplicable presence, a subtle touch grazing the sensitive skin of my neck. But this sensation quickly transforms into searing agony, as if a blade slices through me, drawing blood that trickles down my neck. With a sudden ding, the lights abruptly returned. Looking down, I observe my shirt, which is stained crimson, wondering what happened. I look up into the mirror before me, illuminating a horrifying sight. I stare into the mirror, my reflection distorted by the translucent figure of a girl standing directly behind me. Her hair hangs like a twisted veil, obscuring her face except for her vacant, jet-black eyes, devoid of any glimmer of life. Her appearance is otherworldly, unsettling to the core. Clad in a tattered, floor-length white gown, the fabric sweeps the ground as she moves, whispering echoes of dread. I started hearing voices sounding like little girls singing "la, la, la," and then it had a creepy stop.

I decided to sprint as fast as I could out of the elevator onto the stairs, but I still heard her voice following me with every turn I took. I see her standing in the shadow, her head tilted, every time I reach the next level of the building. There are dolls scattered along the floor, eyes dripping with blood, staring right into my soul. I started to trip among my breaths, trying to run, realising that there were no stairs left; I had reached the roof. I looked around, searching for somewhere to hide. I panicked as I turned around to see that she was still chasing after me. I backed up to the edge of the roof, panting and terrified. She came close with her head tilted in a blood-curdling way. A smile was displayed on her face, but it wasn't a heart-warming smile; it was a dark, creepy smile that made her eyes look like they were about to pop out, causing shivers down my spine. I turned around to see what I could use to fight against or a way down. I felt her hands on me as she whispered into my ear, "Come play with me; don’t worry, I won’t hurt you', then she pushed me off the edge. I wake up from my dream with my hands waving in front of me as if I were falling and my lungs burning as if I were screaming my heart out. My heart beating rapidly, trying to escape my chest. I touch my neck, checking for any cuts. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my mind as it was spinning, making me dizzy. I'm safe. Just a dream.

asked
User Aliopi
by
7.7k points

1 Answer

6 votes

As I stand frozen in the elevator, the atmosphere grows more and more sinister by the moment. The lights flicker and buzz ominously, casting eerie shadows that dance around the cramped space. A chill runs down my spine as I feel an inexplicable presence, a subtle touch grazing the sensitive skin of my neck. But this sensation quickly transforms into searing agony, as if a blade slices through me, drawing blood that trickles down my neck. With a sudden ding, the lights abruptly return, illuminating a horrifying sight before me.

Looking down at my shirt, I observe that it is stained crimson, wondering what happened. I look up into the mirror before me, illuminating a terrifying sight. My reflection is distorted by the translucent figure of a girl standing directly behind me. Her hair hangs like a twisted veil, obscuring her face except for her vacant, jet-black eyes, devoid of any glimmer of life. Her appearance is otherworldly, unsettling to the core. Clad in a tattered, floor-length white gown, the fabric sweeps the ground as she moves, whispering echoes of dread. I start hearing voices sounding like little girls singing "la, la, la," and then it has a creepy stop.

Despite my best efforts to escape, I hear her voice following me with every turn I take. The dolls scattered along the floor, eyes dripping with blood, stare right into my soul. I start to trip among my breaths, trying to run, realizing that there are no stairs left; I have reached the roof. I look around, searching for somewhere to hide. I panic as I turn around to see that she is still chasing after me. I back up to the edge of the roof, panting and terrified.

She comes close with her head tilted in a blood-curdling way. A smile is displayed on her face, but it is not a heart-warming smile; it is a dark, creepy smile that makes her eyes look like they are about to pop out, causing shivers down my spine. I turn around to see what I can use to fight against or a way down. I feel her hands on me as she whispers into my ear, "Come play with me; don’t worry, I won’t hurt you." Then suddenly, she pushes me off the edge. I wake up from my dream with my hands waving in front of me as if I were falling and my lungs burning as if I were screaming my heart out. My heart is beating rapidly, trying to escape my chest. I touch my neck, checking for any cuts. I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm my mind as it is spinning, making me dizzy. I am safe. It was just a dream.

answered
User Xavier D
by
7.7k points
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