Question

Original Sentence:

Oliver got into a serious motorcycle accident.
Revised Sentences:
[1] Oliver got into a motorcycle accident and had to
go to the hospital.
[2] Oliver got into a motorcycle accident and broke
three ribs, punctured a lung, and suffered a
concussion.
[3] Unfortunately, Oliver got into a serious
motorcycle accident and suffered serious injuries.
[4] Oliver got into a serious vehicle accident.
Which sentence is the
best revision of the
original if the goal is to
recount an important
incident in the life of the
person you are writing
about?
A. sentence 4
B. sentence 3
C. sentence 1
D. sentence 2

Answer 1

If the goal is to recount an important incident in the life of the person being written about, the best revision of the original sentence would be:

B. sentence 3: Unfortunately, Oliver got into a serious motorcycle accident and suffered serious injuries.

This sentence maintains the seriousness of the incident and explicitly mentions that Oliver suffered serious injuries, which highlights the significance of the event.