Question

GIVE ME SOME FEED BACK YA'LL!!

Share your sales pitch or brochure with a friend, classmate, or a family member. Ask for some feedback. Tell your reviewer to focus on how well the writing fits the task you were given. It should make a good argument about why a customer would want to visit the region you’ve chosen. Your writing should be engaging. Ask the reviewer to check on how well the writing is suited to the target audience—the customers of the travel agency.


After you get feedback about your pitch, write a short, reflective piece about the feedback, including details from your reviewer. Make note of what was good about your pitch, areas that might need improvement, and how you would rework your pitch based on the feedback.






Who loves an adventurous, relaxing, yet educational vacation? Well, I have the place just for you! Japan is a collection of mountainous islands. This brings the adventure in the vacation, you can hike up the mountains and see the other lands from there! How cool is that!?!? The main four islands are Hokkaido, Honshu, Shikoku, and Kyushu. The Sea of Japan separates Japan from these neighbors. The water was an important part of why Japan was such a success, it turns out that the water was used as a barrier from intruders. So you don’t have to worry about your plans getting ruined because of a war. When Shōtoku was in power his first act was to send scholars, artists, and his own Buddhist monks to China. He wanted to get ideas from china which is why they may have similar cultural tastes. One of the things they brought back was Confucianism, which brings us to the relaxing part. Confucianism requires meditation and getting control of your-self, which can be relaxing

Answer 1

Step-by-step explanation:

Hi there! I hope you're doing well. I wanted to share my sales pitch about Japan with you and get your feedback. After reading it, could you let me know how well it fits the task I was given? I'm trying to make a good argument about why a customer would want to visit Japan. I also want to make sure my writing is engaging and suited to the target audience - customers of a travel agency.

Here's what I came up with:

"Who loves an adventurous, relaxing, yet educational vacation? Well, I have the place just for you! Japan is a collection of mountainous islands. This brings the adventure in the vacation, you can hike up the mountains and see the other lands from there! How cool is that!?!? The main four islands are Hokkaido, Honshu, Shikoku, and Kyushu. The Sea of Japan separates Japan from these neighbors. The water was an important part of why Japan was such a success, it turns out that the water was used as a barrier from intruders. So you don’t have to worry about your plans getting ruined because of a war. When Shōtoku was in power his first act was to send scholars, artists, and his own Buddhist monks to China. He wanted to get ideas from china which is why they may have similar cultural tastes. One of the things they brought back was Confucianism, which brings us to the relaxing part. Confucianism requires meditation and getting control of your-self, which can be relaxing."

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Did it make a good argument about why someone would want to visit Japan? Was it engaging and suited to the target audience? Any suggestions for improvement? Thanks so much for your help!

Reflective piece:

I received some great feedback on my sales pitch about Japan. My reviewer thought that my writing was engaging and suited to the target audience. They also thought that I made a good argument about why someone would want to visit Japan. However, they suggested that I should focus more on the educational aspect of a vacation in Japan. They thought that the pitch was too focused on adventure and relaxation, and not enough on the historical and cultural significance of the country.

Based on this feedback, I would rework my pitch to include more information about the cultural and historical significance of Japan. I could include more details about the temples, shrines, and museums that visitors could explore. I could also talk more about the art, music, and literature of Japan, and how it has influenced the world. Overall, I'm grateful for the feedback and I believe it will help me make my pitch even stronger.