Question

Hey can someone please check if my essay has a good introduction? Like is the thesis strong enough, any changing suggestions, add other information, any way that it has good transitions/flows good etc? and please explain.

Answer 1

it is really good! i wouldn't say "totally collapsed" instead i would say "completely collapsed" but rather you keep it or not its really good also "become corrupt" should be "becomes corrupt" or "becomes corrupted"