The author of Vernon's "What is Love?" contends that real love entails accepting a person as they are rather than attempting to change them. Vernon thinks that rather than trying to change someone into an idealized version of themselves, love is about accepting both the good and the bad in a person and seeing them as a whole. Therefore, it can be concluded that Vernon does not think that changing one another is necessary for a healthy relationship.
On the other hand, Ben-Zeev contends in "Endless Love" that change is a necessary component of every relationship. As long as they are changing for themselves rather than just to please their partner, he thinks that partners should be willing to change each other for the better. According to Ben-Zeev, it is normal and essential for partners in a relationship to change for one another.
It appears that there is some ambivalence regarding the question of whether partners should alter each other in a relationship based on these two readings. Vernon argues against switching partners, but Ben-Zeev contends that change is a normal and essential component of any happy relationship. The choice of whether partners should alter one another ultimately rests with the parties involved in the relationship and their own individual morals and values.