When expressing a need for their mate to stop or start doing something, one may use a negative communication pattern – telling their mate what they don’t want them to do, instead of a positive communication pattern – telling their mate what they do want them to do. The problem with using negative communication patterning when requesting a valid need from your mate is that it implies your assumptions and expectations as truth, fact, or reality for your mate
Positive communication patterns express what is, (i.e., It stopped raining) rather than expressing what is not (i.e., It’s not raining).
So when communicating your needs to your mate, that is, what you want your mate to start or stop doing, use positive communication patterns rather that negative ones.
hope this helps