Question

Which revision would be most effective in reducing the wordiness of this sentence?

Ramon wondered if someday he might become a person who performs shows.
A.) Change "person who performs shows" to "performer."
B.) Change "who performs" to "performing."
C.) Change "he might become" to "he'd become."
D.) Change "wondered" to "began to wonder."

Answer 1

It would be A). For it reduces the wordiness greatly. :)