Question

Identify the problem with the following sentence.

Thelma was the person who wrote the sales manual originally in the beginning. use of passive voice
wordiness
inconsistent style

Answer 1

The problem of the above sentence is the USE OF WORDINESS.

"Originally in the beginning" is redundant. The sentence could simply be written as:

Thelma was the person who wrote the sales manual.

This means that Thelma was the author of the sales manual.