Question

Rewrite the following paragraph so that the resource material flows with the remainder of the paragraph.

A person considering the cost of school athletics must first consider salaries of coaches, custodians, trainers, and band directors. James Johnson said, "Equipment is another major cost." Equipment includes uniforms for athletes, marching band, pompom line, cheerleaders, and other groups whose function is tied to the athletics program. Equipment includes balls, bats, nets, clubs, laundry and cleaning costs, first-aid supplies, and medical supplies. Johnson also discusses utility costs. "Some are directly related to the sports program such as lighting and air conditioning." Water used by the team for showers should be included (26).

Answer 1

James Johnson said, "Equipment is another major cost." A person considering the cost of school athletics must first consider salaries of coaches, custodians, trainers, and band directors. The expenses would include uniforms, balls, bats, nets, clubs, pompoms, laundry and cleaning costs, first-aid supplies, and medical supplies. Johnson also discusses utility costs. "Some are directly related to the sports program such as lighting and air conditioning."(26) Water used by the team for showers should be included in the expenses.

Answer 2

Since this paragraph is talking about equipment and utility costs, and not the cost of salaries, I would rewrite the topic sentence to better reflect the supporting evidence. This way, the rest of the paragraph flows from the first sentence, and the reader can better understand the main point:

Although a person considering the cost of school athletics may immediately think of salaries, they should instead recognize the cost of equipment and utilities.