asked 177k views
4 votes
I need help simplifying this thesis and making it easier to understand for the reader (more concise) .....

"No matter how religious one may be, one’s faith tends to change under unexpected and challenging circumstances."

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User DANG Fan
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8.9k points

2 Answers

3 votes

"No matter how religious one may be, one’s faith tends to change under unexpected and challenging circumstances."

When you say "one may be" it sounds too formal, you would refer to someone as "one" for a formal essay.

"No matter how religious you may be, your faith tends to change under unexpected and challenging circumstances."

Note: I changed "one’s faith" to "your faith" to make it sound less formal, fit for a more normal audience. Remember: you refer to someone as "one" if it is a formal essay or a college essay; for a more mature audience.

answered
User Jay Elston
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8.3k points
2 votes

All I did was simply combine concepts into fewer words. In my opinion the original thesis was great.

Even people with the strongest faith may doubt or change their beliefs when faced with life's obstacles.

Let me know if this helped!

~Just a girl in love with Shawn Mendes

answered
User Purushotham
by
8.7k points
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