Question

A student walks into a school while rummaging through her backpack. She continues to look around, rather suspiciously. Could she be looking for a weapon or something completely harmless?

This is my hook. How could I reword it to make it more interesting?

Answer 1

Well you could start by making up a name for the student and you could state what she could be searching for and maybe the readers will continue with the interesting story.

Answer 2

Hello!

You could make your hook more interesting by adding more descriptive language and steady suspense. Instead of “a student walks into a school”, which sounds fairly ordinary, you can immersify the reader by replacing words such as “walks” with “steps”. You could also add more description on the setting, such as if her steps are making any echos or noises, or if the school is dark and empty, etc. I can help you more if you need me to, just comment below.